Keeping It Real

"How is it possible for the child's imagination to be developed by that which is in truth the fruit of the adult's imagination? We alone imagine, not they; they merely believe." -Maria Montessori

Recently, Nishad lost two of his baby teeth. As I held his first tooth in my hand, I smiled and reflected about the excitement when, not-so-long ago, this very tooth was the first tooth in our baby's mouth. Despite knowing that we weren't about to indulge in fictitious stories about a "Tooth Fairy," I was unprepared when it first happened. I was scrambling as to how to mark the milestone.

Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, we choose to tell our boys the truth. The Tooth Fairy would be no different. Surely, this doesn't resonate well with some parents and isn't about to win us any popularity points. I'll never forget another Mother telling me about how another child ruined the 'magic' of Santa Claus for her child. "Why do THEY have to ruin the fun?" I guess I can re-phrase that with, "Why do the Kumar Family have to ruin the fun?"

We completely respect others choice in rearing their children how they wish—this is just a personal choice for our family. Not intended to be "preachy" but rather a mere glimpse or perspective of one family that is doing the best they can at "keeping it real." (As you make a mental note not to invite us to any 2011 holiday cookie exchanges.) I say this as the kid who, like all of my friends, believed in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Did my parents damage me for life? No. Was there a bit of shock to my world when I learned the truth that the very people I grew to grow and trust lied to me in the name of "fun?" Definitely. Are there times when a parent feels they have to lie to the children? Surely… but for us, it wouldn't be over commercial concepts and ideas aimed at profiting. Are our holidays less stressful? Yes. The emphasis isn't on the gifts because we've minimized the commercial expectations of the season.

Prior to Nishad being born, I worked with a few amazing AMI Directresses that each had over 30 years of experience. I was lucky to engage in conversation with them and a hand full of other Montessorians in regard to the holidays and "fantasy" in general. Though, I was influenced by their Montessori perspective, experiences and readings on the subject, I must admit that it wasn't the only reason why we decided to choose this path for our children. So here are some personal reasons, from the flip side of parenting without fantasy, in 0-6 years:

• 
  
  It destroys a perfect opportunity to give your children the best kind of example – the unconditional love of a parent. If your child is completely convinced that Santa Claus, based on how good you've been, will dole out presents at his own discretion, there's an alternative motivation for acting right. Instead, we love our kids for who they are.
  


• 
  
  While we embrace world religions, we are Christian. Why do we call this holiday "Christmas?" Because it's the time that we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. And this goes hand-in-hand with my observation about showing the unconditional love of a parent. You don't need Santa Claus to make your wishes come true. You have a father and/or mother who care enough about you to do everything we can to make your life the best that it can be.
  


• 
  
  Belief in Santa Claus does nothing to "enhance" a child's Christmas experience. We still enjoy light-gazing and decorate. A child can enjoy the experience without having to believe it's real. With that being said, we took the boys to a holiday party where Santa was. Nishad looked at me, lifted an eyebrow and said softly, "Mama that old man dressed in the red clothes must think its Halloween again!" Of course, a part of me was relieved that he said it softy to me so that I didn't have 50 other parents chasing me down outside as we made a b-line to the car because we "ruined their child's holiday."
  

As adults, we use the words imagination and fantasy interchangeably. However, they are not the same thing. I came across an article written by Pilar Bewley, an AMI primary teacher in Italy. Here are some highlights:

• 
  
  "We are all aware that creativity stems from a well-developed imagination. You have to imagine something before you can create it, right? We also rightly assume that the capacity to imagine is formed in early childhood (a time when children are read fantasy stories and are encouraged to participate in pretend-play). And yet, you won't find a single fairy tale, doll, or talking animal in a Montessori Children's House classroom."
  


• 
  
  "Fantasy can be a great tool for escape and entertainment for those of us who have a strong grip on reality. However, young children (before the age of 5 or 6) are not able to differentiate between fantasy and reality; a phenomenon that has dire repercussions on their ability to learn and problem-solve."
  
  


• 
  
  "Young children can certainly use their imagination, but their main focus is the reality around them. However, around the age of six, the child begins to question how everything around him works. He's no longer content with learning through his senses: feeling, seeing, tasting a fruit, and finding out its name, for example. He wants to know where it came from and how it was made!"
  


• 
  
  Dr. Montessori explains. "Our aim therefore is not merely to make the child understand, and still less to force him to memorize, but so to touch his imagination as to enthuse him to his inmost core." Furthermore, "Pretending is largely assimilation of reality to one's own thoughts, rather than adjustment of one's own ideas to fit reality," writes Dr. Angeline Stoll Lillard in Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius.
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

So what did we end up doing to mark the milestone of losing a tooth? We traveled around the world and discover the surprising things children do when they lose a tooth.
There is a wonderful book by
Selby Beeler, Throw Your Tooth on the Roof: Tooth Traditions from Around the World we used as a guide. In addition, we have a string with 20 white beads (originally) on it which are symbolic to 20 baby teeth. For each tooth lost, Nishad (and eventually Arun) remove a bead, and we place it in a journal and document the occasion with the details surrounding it along with a picture.

So now that our secret is out, we hope we're not on your naughty list.

Mama-Mia!

I guarantee if you eat the box, it would taste better than the ingredients provided in this kit for the pizza. We (Ok, I) will go to any extreme to find that 'perfect' Chicago-style pizza. Needless to say, after 7 years, I still haven't found the answer. It certainly wasn't in this cardboard box. This box has some amazing graphics on it though...look how fun and exciting it appears to be! It's almost as though the pizza itself with jump out of the box and have a taste party along side of you. It says that you can make a Chicago-style pizza or New York style pizza...yup, servin' up a tall order and I proved to be the sucker for it. After all, it's made by Elmer's...the GLUE company! If I would have read that prior to buying it, I can assure you it wouldn't have been in my cart. However, it did include some fun science experiments that took me back to my days of teaching. Tiger, our little chef, was THRILLED to open this on Christmas. He would do ALL the cooking if we let him. I found this on the web from $9.99 on Amazon to $19.99 on GlammaToys.com. I paid $6.00 for it and felt cheated.

Waiting for the balloon to rise- to indicate our yeast was ready. This was not the most exciting part for Tiger...but it was a good lesson in patience.

Reflections on 2010

Lessons Learned, Thoughts Formed...

1. Just because people graduated from h.s., doesn't mean that they have matured.
2. A degree doesn't mean your intelligent, it just means you were able to jump through some hoops.
3. Many claim to be Christians, while only few "walk the walk."
4. Class isn't associated with money.
5. Parenting is making sacrifices- not just what is convenient.
6. Sometimes it takes a winter storm to remind you of how resilient, strong and alive you are.
7. Love will always prevail- regardless of what religion you subscribe to.
8. Everything is up for interpretation. That's why you have to be very mindful as to who is doing the interpreting.
9. Those that spend their time dropping names in a conversation are merely trying to over-compensate for all they really lack or have low self esteem.
10. "When you know better, you do better." Maya Angelou
11. ALL relationships are work: Like a garden, you must care for them, or they are taken over by weeds and wilt and die.
12. While one may call a knot an obstacle to overcome, another may see it as an opportunity, a force, that binds and keeps them closer and more tightly knit.
13. Don't justify to others why you want to have "family time." It's your time...it's your family.
14. Your significant other is the only one in the world that you can fall asleep next to and wake up next to. No matter how comfortable the sofa is, or how good the program on TV is...nothing is as good as drifting off and waking up next to the one you love.
15. A Husband and Wife with children are the foundation of the family. Take time for one another- you are the glue for the family.
16. Free yourself from family that doesn't treat you as family-- some of the best family comes from others with no relation to DNA.
17. Don't compare your spouse to other spouses. Instead, remember why you married your spouse.
18. Never give up on yourself.
19. When living on one income by staying at home with your children, remember that what you do doesn't allow you to punch-in or punch-out. Therefore, remember to take time for you!
20. Exercise your mind...daily.
21. Be an advocate for something OTHER than what just benefits YOU.
22. Never, ever let anyone steal your sunshine...Haven't you heard? You need all the vitamin D you can get.
23. Try at least one new dish or appetizer each month. I was shocked that the Buffalo Shrimp at Charlie's Grille would create such a lively party in my mouth!
24. Keep Moving Forward...even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.
25. Software and Technology is only as good as the people that operate it-- that have the vision for creating things with it. Just like a camera...It's not the camera that takes pictures, it's the photographer behind the lens that gives life to the photo and adds perspective.
26. Some of my favorite stories, have no words.
27. Two small jumps are sometimes better than one giant leap.
28. Kids don't always listen, but they do imitate.
29. Supply isn't the issue with world hunger- It's Access!
30. By making yourself happy, you may take the risk of making others not happy with you. Find a place in your soul to know that by staying true and honest with yourself, it's okay if others are not always happy with you.
31. It doesn't matter when you start, it matters THAT YOU START!
32. It doesn't matter when you finish, it matters THAT YOU DID IT!
33. Even the simplest of dinners tastes great when you are in the company of those you care about.
34. True Friendship adds to the quality of both of parties lives.
35. You don't just have one chance to fulfill a dream...you have several. Every time you wake up, it's a new day. A clean slate...an opportunity for greatness!
36. Life isn't defined by the BIG glorious events or occasions, but rather by every day occurrences that create memories to build on.

Art Teacher or Pastry Chef?

On day 3 of the kids being home on winter break it occurred to me that I should have been an art teacher or a pastry chef. Well, maybe I am...just for a select few. :) Not bad for a 3 year old! I think it looks like an eagle. Ashish said it looks like two bears hugging (yes, it shocked me too that I was out 'imagined' by Ashish)...
Oh how we LOVE Micheal's Craft Store! Stickers normally $8 were on sale for $4! Needless to say, we stocked up and Nishad was in heaven!

Our Winter Solstice Display by Nishad and Tiger.


We were able to squeeze in some more baking today too! Sugar cookies and Ginger Bread People! This is my "Entertainer" cookie.
I guess you could say that day 3 was a pretty sweet day!

Depot Hotel

Soaking up all that there is to Explore!

Ashish and I always include our boys on vacations and "get-a-ways." So, we are always on the look out for something unique that offers something that everyone will enjoy. In the past, it's been our annual tradition to stay overnight at the Hyatt in Minneapolis to watch the Hollidazzle parade. We dine on amazing Indian food via carry-out and eat breakfast at the Newsroom in the morning. This year, we had company for Thanksgiving, so we altered our plans a bit. By doing so we found "the" hotel of Minneapolis! The Renaissance Hotel at the Depot is nothing other than amazing! Included with our room was underground parking in a heated garage, 4 water park passes, 25% off admission and rentals at the skating rink and breakfast...not to mention a beautiful room. The hotel is shaped in a U. The water park is on one side and on the opposite side is the skating rink. Charlie's Grille, the on site restaurant was a pleasant surprise! As a matter of fact, it was SO GOOD that we ate lunch, dinner and breakfast there! The way that the hotel is laid out, you don't even need to venture outdoors! YAY! This is EXACTLY what we needed as it was FREEZING outside and we, nor the kids wanted to do anything other than soak in all the hotel had to offer.

The Hotel
Modern, yet furnished with historic pictures and LOTS of museum quality artifacts of trains. Our boys LOVED seeing all the different pictures of the trains from the posters to the black and white photos placed throughout the entire hotel. The artifacts are really a secret gem! It's almost like visiting a museum...that's how well researched and designed each display is! The rooms are comfy and very clean- We were on the 3rd floor with a 'historic view.'

The Water park
One of the best we have ever taken the kids to! I never liked big, overwhelming water parks because our boys are only 3 and 5...so, with safety and sanity in mind, we avoid the larger parks. Who wants to be overwhelmed and overstimulated when your intention is to relax, right? Right! The kids were SO EXCITED when they saw the big, bright choo-choo themed water park that was PERFECT for their ages! The only time where Tiger would get a little apprehensive was when the train let out a roar and overflowed with pressured water at full speed. Another perk, is as a hotel guest, they keep your name on file so you can come back the following morning and play all you like.

The Skating Rink
Nishad was SO thrilled to skate for the first time. I can't picture a better place to have that first experience. The indoor skating rink made for a perfect setting for fun under the Minneapolis skyline! The walls are glass windows...pretty neat! We arrived there around 7:15p.m., and it wasn't terribly busy...it seemed active and lively, but not over-crowded.

The Grille
Often hotel food lacks- lets face it. However, this was fabulous (or else we wouldn't have eaten here 3 times!). For lunch I ordered a turkey burger that in turn made Ashish jealous. I was in 7th Heaven and after I finished I was told it's what all the locals stop in for. Yes, it's that good! For dinner, we had quite the feast! We started with the chicken nacho platter (YUM), and were given a complimentary buffalo Tiger shrimp appetizer (AMAZING!!). We ordered a blue cheese pizza and a regular cheese pizza...some of the best pizza I've tasted in this state! Along with our food, Ashish and I decided to try a "beer flight." I'm not really a fan of beer, but this was quite the experience! Six, 5oz. local beers...I'm suddenly craving a pale ale!

All in all, a trip well worth it! Memorable and classic with a twist of fun for all!

Ahhhhhh.....Peace.

Here's to another 70 years, Honey! Happy Anniversary!

US Pride

A year ago today...Ashish became a United States Citizen! How.Time.Flies. Since then he's voted in two elections. While many of us take for granted the birth rights of being a citizen of this country, there are many that tirelessly work toward achieving the "American Dream" -- which includes being a citizen of this country and all of the privileges and responsibilities that come along with it. That's right...responsibilities. Some fail to uphold those responsibilities. However, others like Ashish...make up for their absence by being a productive member of society...and then some! We're so proud of you, "Daddy!"

Snowapalooza

This year we are embracing winter more-- perhaps it is because we have a snow blower? YAY! Not that I didn't enjoy shoveling...and we've been lucky that we have some great neighbors that have bailed us out, but seriously...it makes living in Minnesota a lot less stressful!

No, that's not the surface of Mars- that is the side of our house after the Blizzard! We had a total of about 7-8 inches. Our 2nd storm of the season...and it's not even offically Winter.

Dapper Boys

Livin' it up at their first party of the season...St. Catherine University's "family" Christmas Party! There were lots of reindeer games, complete with yummy-yum's, prizes and a whole lot of cheer! I do believe the boys love my school even more than I do! There is always something happening at St. Kate's. We LOVE the community at "our" school.

This year I did something different for the boys Christmas outfits. I had to pick up these penguin vests when I saw them! My handsome little men love penguins, so it was something I knew they would adore as much as I adored the colors and kid friendly design. They retail at $28, but I was able to get them for a steal. Gymboree's website is showing the price as $13.99, but I picked them each up for $9.99 at the outlet store. Toss in two black turtle necks for $3.99 each, tweed caps at $4.50 each (they are sold on the website for $7.19 each on sale) and Gap khakis (Gap pants are more expensive put well worth it in design and durability) complete with penguin print socks for $1.99 each-- Ta-da!! Little Dapper Men! Plus, because they don't solely have a Christmas theme, they will be able to wear them all season long.

We Decked...

With the craziness of final projects, presentations and papers for school, cleaning, shopping and preparing to cook for Thanksgiving (not that I ordinarily would not have, but I wanted things to be "extra" nice as we had a guest-- you know how it is! When you love and appreciate that guest- you want it to be special.)...not to mention volunteering for two events in a week at the boys school (a cookie exchange for the staff I coordinate every year and a Winter Solstice Celebration that I head up every year for the entire school), I was feeling well...tired. Thanksgiving came and went and I didn't have one once of Christmas decorating or shopping spirit in me. Traditionally, Ashish and I mark the start of the season on our anniversary (November 26th) with the boys by staying overnight in Minneapolis at the Hyatt, watching the Hollidazzle parade, seeing the Macy's holiday display and each picking out a "special" ornament (well, the kids and I at least!). That all didn't happen this year-- and I was 100% fine with it. Maybe it was because of my theology class?? I really started to soak in the REAL meaning of the season...and it's nothing you can find under a tree. It's nothing that sparkles in a parade or shines on a window. We didn't get to go to the Grand Meander this year (another annual tradition that we didn't make it to because of the second snow storm-- actually, a blizzard-- of the season). I was ok with this too... This year, we didn't go cut down our tree at a tree farm...Yup, I was okay with this too. Instead, I picked up the boys from school with a chai tea in hand and said, "C'Mon, Boys! You're going to go pick out a Christmas tree for our house!" I headed to the local Ace Hardware about a mile from our house, the boys both marched over to the same tree and said, "This is the one! Our tree!" I replied, "Really? Don't you want to look at some others?" They insisted this was "the one." So, the wonderful man that works there tied it up on the roof of the car and off we headed to bring it home. As soon as we pulled up the driveway, it began to snow. The boys got out of the car jumping up and down, marveling at the tree they picked out, full of excitement, hugging me with words of, "I LOVE YOU, MOMMY!! It's the BEST TREE EVER!" And...that's when it happened...The Christmas spirit slipped in my heart. I suppose it was always there...even in the hustle and bustle...even in the daily stress of a "do-to" list...that's part of the magic of the season. Seeing the joy of the season through my boys eyes renewed my love for the holiday- and all that goes along with it.

The Ginger Bread House by the Boys.

Nishad's gift to me...he sewed this at school for me. (Melt...)

Full swing decorations!

Beautiful Day...New Recipe

Like I really need an excuse to try a new recipe, right? With a sky this amazing it's a reminder that every day is filled with new possibilities! I first heard about this cake through the ravings of the staff at the boys school; orange cardamom cake. There is a Dad of a little boy in Nishad's class that is known for his baking-- he is amazing! This is one of his now famous cakes. He made it with a cream cheese frosting. YUM. I love it because there are times when I want to be a little "healthier" (minus the frosting!!)-- even when I bake. This is the perfect solution for it. So, sit back, relax with a piece of cake and tea in hand...and take in all the season has to offer.

Curious George

Being that both of our boys dig Curious Bunder (Bunder means 'monkey' in Hindi they never really called him "George" until just recently), we had to take them to see the show live at the Target Center. We went to the 4:30p.m. show on Sunday. The show has a 'chef' theme, so our little Chef Tiger was especially excited! We parked in lot C, away from the crowd and took our time ambling over to the show via sky way. Upon entry, each child was given a chef hat with their ticket. We had excellent seats as I was able to take advantage of the pre-sale tickets.The layout of the main floor was much smaller than imagined, so you didn't need to be "that close" to get a fantastic view. The boys each picked out a souvenir, and we indulged in popcorn. Despite it being a bit LOUD during the second act, overall it was a great show and a fun experience! There were LOTS of jazz hands in this production...so of course, Mommy was thrilled too! Thanks, Curious George Live!

Auntie D

Everyone has that certain friend-- the friend who remembers EVERY significant date. The friend who ALWAYS sends a beautiful card for your birthday or to say they are thinking of you. The friend that though miles separate you, and changes in your life happen...you know when it comes down to it, you remain close... This is Diana. She is a bright light in so many peoples lives! Over the years, I've begun to slack in sending out notes/cards/pics/gifts...part of it is just rearing two boys...but never, ever have I not appreciated Diana for setting the model of how we should all be. A little more thoughtful. Of course, in Diana style, she ALWAYS manages to go over the top! For example, she didn't just send my boys a card, she sent them a big package filled with books and a gift certificate for ice cream. We didn't even realize that something was at our front door until we decided to finally clean up the cob-webs from the front door. WHAT A THRILL it was for the boys to discover something there-- and the thrill only grew when they found out it was for them. THANK YOU, Auntie D...for making the boys feel the love you so packed the package with. Thank you for thinking of them, for making them feel special...and for letting them know that there are people that care for them. So to you...a little video we made this morning... Catch those kisses! xo